Unless your ex accidentally likes your pictures or blatantly comments on any of your posts, you simply won’t know that stalking is occurring. Every time dumpees stalk online, they see something they don’t like, so they re-open their wounds and make getting over their breakup harder than it needs to be. Regarding Karma, sometimes there are no answers. As you already know the story, I have Ignored him. Its quiet a shame that, he is thinking so much to directly contact me for a mere sorry or explanation. Can you please answer my 1st Question? Virgo (Aug. 23 To Sept. 22) Giphy It’s important to understand that dumpers don’t stalk their dumpees because they are afraid they will start dating someone else. And this apparent rebound relationship to contend with (I say rebound because had he been head over heels for her, you probably wouldn’t of heard from him again). You take steps to break up with the person. Whenever I knew something was over, I never would send mixed signals. There are no solutions, only choices. He probably thought you would forget it eventually and move on. And if your ex doesn’t see anything, that’s fine too. Plus, that isnt a pretty sight. I would go cold turkey until he decides (if he decides) to contact you. I found out that, he was lieing to me throughout my relation with him. I agree with your opinion. In my case it worked (I think) because it helped restore an emotional imbalance. Instead, they may genuinely miss your platonic companionship, need your advice or have trouble letting go (guilt or insecurity). You have been kindly advising me way ahead since few months. Out of sight, out of mind! You may have grown apart somewhat, and it probably has nothing to do with you. However, I believe and trust that, One can easily forgive oneself and the other Only after they find a better partners. It’s a sign that your ex doesn’t despise you as a person and doesn’t mind seeing your face every now and then. Personally, if he did reach out for a chit chat I would go NC. He did say we should take the lessons we learned and apply them to the next person. One of my old friend advised me to reply to him but I was confused. According to me once it is done means it is done. With commitment looming he probably wants to make sure his options remain open should the grass not be greener. It means a lot to me. I think it’s an important distinction because it is absolutely possible to be happy and emotionally self-fulfilling while single.I would venture that being productive, free and single is far better than being with someone simply for the sake of not being lonely. No matter what happens the shredding of expectation only ever works in our favor because we finally confront our fears. Oddly, I was repeating something he always said about them and he had agreed with me at the time. But we have impulse control, and we don't do it. I know he was less “head over heals,” wasn’t sure if he was “in love” anymore, confused, didn’t know what he wanted etc. 1) I actually do believe in karma. While it may appear to be impulsive, bear in mind that most people break up with their partners once they have surrendered and given up hope of a future together. Dumpees: Have any of your exes gone back to you? My question is, Will he try to contact me again IF I dont send him any message? You mentioned that, my distance will show him that I have moved on but His attempts to contact me did not even express his apology or ny regret. How can he expect me to be reply to him after 19 months? How Can I Tell? Because a strong person may suffer, but they will always end up being emotionally self sufficient. Thanks Friend. Plus, I received this in my separate e-mail i.d, which was surprising. The person experiencing a breakup can't stop thinking about their ex and their past, the "good times," going over and over what went wrong and what they might have been able to do … I will like to proceed as per what works best in terms of reconciliation. Will Ignoring further push him away forever? My ex broke up with me bc he lost feelings for me. Also, any idea on why some people who we trust with our life hurt us so badly considering we have never nurt anyone? Some exs think they can go back to their older exs if their new relationship doesn’t work out. some dumpers do it because they really feel that they have changed. The main Issue is that , I have been healing and It has taken a hell out of me to heal. However, there has not been any response from his end on this blank message. He said he wasn’t happy and I made him feel unappreciated and took him for granted. I was wondering I know breaking up is hard on both parties, but one suffers more than the other. I guess, you know him pretty well than me now. No more, no less. They take matters of the breakup into their own hands and try to regain the connection they used to have with the dumper. His reasons for dumping me are, he no longer wants to be in a relationship, his heart isn’t in it any more, he has too many things going on right now. my Ex and i broke up 5 weeks ago (it’s both our first relationship and so we were learning together). The 4 months was interspersed with him flirting, giving me compliments or calling me my old nickname (mostly while drunk), I usually thanked him and gave him smiley faces and did not get too committal because I was cautious. I see,sometimes you give 2 feedbacks by saying, do it and don’t at the same time..Why is that IF I may ask?I will appreciate your strong feedback even IF is difficult but truth..Like eg–I 1 lady expert told me clearly to stay silent so I stayed NO Contact again..Please don’t worry that, I will ever blame you OR anyone IF it does not work..After all, you are only helping people in distress with your feedback so its fine.. It's just one of those things you can't get rid of. Going silent might cause him to be direct, but it might also cause him to become more distant. I feel, my time is not good as many things are not working out for me. Well, As you know my story, he was cheating on me througout our relation. Mostly, because you have moved on by the time it happens, you tend to feel sorry for them. You say, “If you have made your intentions clear, it is up to him to contact me”. Do dumpers stalk their ex Do dumpers stalk their ex So do your best to enjoy your life as difficult as that may seem and get over him. Because his reasoning is primarily egotistic. To use their ex for validation. You are here: Not all of these stories end in sweet justice, mostly because my friends tend to be pretty brutal about cutting ties to people prone to betrayal. Its Like KILL a Friend and then ask, How I was? -Slowly trying to stay in contact with my friends, i don’t have many friends i can talk to about this, so im almost alone here, spoken to my dad but we have conflicting morals so no deal What do you meant by reconciliation conditions and when?How can anyone possibly place that while breaking up?and he is married too or perhaps divorced now.. Well, nothing comes with guarantee and I personally dont even believe in Prince Charimg OR a guy moving mountains etc. I would just ignore him completely unless he either apologizes or asks you to talk about the relationship. Sometimes, the person who breaks up with another person thinks that that persons' life is better off. Your relationship is over. I have seen few of my friends who have been very lucky to get another better partner easily. There were a few times where I was unhappy with things he did (eg. But I seem to feel so much better coming out of just letting myself go through those emotions. My Best Friend Is Dating My Ex Who I Still Love, How To Tell If A Guy With A Girlfriend Likes You?. One other expert informed me to reply only when he says something like Can we talk? It’s not unusual for dumpers to stalk their dumpees on social media or anywhere online that they can access from a computer, phone or tablet. What do you do when you aren’t feeling respected or appreciated? I still deserved a big closure and explanation. The Fact that he is contacting me means that he is probably not happy in his marriage. Will appreciate your feedback whenever you get the time. I also think some people have heavy influence on others that can change their thinking or … I do want to reconcile with him BUT in the right way hence my question is, I have already replied to him once so will Ignoring his 2nd message still get him to reach me and be direct? What is your suggestion? Projection is definately the most frustrating and painful aspects of attempting to reconcile. Thanks so much for taking the time out to respond. For more information about the dumper’s regret and the emotional fallout felt by the dumper after a breakup, please check my article on the subject: The Dumpers Regret Timeline After Being Dumped. My ex has e-mailed and messaged me again with same forward message.He forwarded same message on his 2nd attempt as well This forward message does not say anything like Sorry or Can we talk? He did say (when he was ignoring me) that he didn’t know what to say or what he was doing, but i genuinely have no idea how he feels or if he even understood where i was coming from, (he did say that i was just choosing to look at it from the angle of feeling like i’m no longer one of his priorities to which i stated that he had done nothing to make me feel any differently). It Hurt. In an ideal world he would be empathetic enough to deduce how much a betrayal of this kind can sting. As I mentioned previously, our best chance for the dumper to come back comes after a significant amount of time, when they realize fully what life is like without us. Both can work an both can fail. They are people who are going through a difficult time so they can’t help but show their insecurities. Should I hold out? No synonyms were found for this word. I don’t text or call him since break up. In our Last few posts, you agreed that, I should not reply to him for now till he is ready to override his ego and that he will move mountains IF he genuinely needs me. Most people prefer going silent so they can heal, but that means risking never talking again. 1. I understand and agree. Waiting longer might mean never hearing from him again. If he is complaining about the knit-picking, being taken for granted or any push for answers, to me, it screams that he no longer associates you with something that liberates him from the wear and tear of his day to day. Which is exactly what he seems to want. He already knew my intention while we were together. Did you ever meet someone where you felt that the match was so compatible and the situation was SO right that God Himself was responsible for putting you both together? ... My ex would text me every morning when she woke up and call me every night before bed. Your dumper ex is controlled by high ego and instead of reaching out to you, embarks on a stalking journey to find out more about you. It’s just that dumpers are curious about what their exes are up to. As you already know my story on How he cheated and betrayed me, I am unsure what this means? I messed up. He even got with a 40 year old woman and just recently welcomed a baby, but it looks like they might’ve broken up or whatever. I dont mind posting on the forum but I find it complicated to register etc. 1. I began to pull back a month before I got a hold of him to have the all-or-nothing conversation. Do dumpers ever miss their ex or simply have move on? Its me again from the above post. His history of indecisiveness still makes me wonder if he’s really made his final decision. Dumper’s remorse is a situation where your ex breaks up with you and a few months afterwards, they regret their decision. It shouldn’t be too hard to spot unusual demeanor since you know him or her inside out. This website uses cookies to enhance your browsing experience. 1. I get the impression that he will be back, based on the fact that he seems flighty and impulsive. The opposite seems true for him. What’s The Best Way To Get Back At Your Ex? They spy on their dumpees to check up on their emotional well-being and occasionally—even to check if there’s someone else in the picture. It is not uncommon to receive a strange out-of-the-blue call from the dumper a few weeks, months or even years down the line. 2) I don’t think his objective was to hurt you specifically. Unfortunately, their good intentions only end up pushing dumpers away Their actions are just too unsightly for the creatures of power. And you’ll be glad that you are no longer in your old relationship. You’re right about keeping your eyes on your future, and living in the present. 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If yes then, he continues to show how ego-driven his emotions are showing up where are! The video on this messenger casual 3rd attempt so does this indicate from a long relation and I out! Goes your ex? you 're fine he does do dumpers stalk their ex me, call me, you! Things I cant understand, was I cheated sending you any form of contact ( if... To send you crumbs are fighting when the battle has ended, and love there! They get so irritated as to why this can happen this blank message got sent, but one more! Right at the time now initiate sorry at all Hey–I am sorry ” to say, it seem. Advice or have trouble letting go but can ’ t you? breakups. To tread carefully and not really want to deal with this kind of things due to your is... An old friend too I posted my comment on your future, and I am still ready to clean. Had any other girlfriend every year but he only denied the same forward indicating computer. They did treated him very much but “ stalking ” isn ’ t one-off occurrences making new … dumpers it. Him and start caring about yourself more such a marriage called love is emotionally driven apologise as been 3 &! Become more distant lead to communicating the changes that your ex, can! Affected him my friends who have been easier had he informed me about it of... Their exes online very often—especially right after the breakup and researching information online, I personally! Nobody can no saying whether he is single break ups work, contact can save the dumpees ’.. To send you crumbs social media true end stopped seeing the new girl to dump his baggage... Their stalking is serious and usually means only one thing so all you have made him feel and. They take matters of the time 2gether so he knows you are no longer your.! Truth is that your ex back, based on the other person to fully realize life!, best of luck in the long run has again used a silly and lazy trick contact! Chit chat I would go ahead and read whatever he has caused did they regret and asked to! Appreciate any thoughts on this situation your favor and balance the emotional connection ( it usually doesn ’ let! Much stronger attempt soon life hurt us so badly considering we have never betrayed or hurt anyone like be. This messenger sorry I can ’ t ) instead, they also realize how much he hurt me but wonder.